Eva Batalla, El Levante, 24/01/2019
The Journalist and Emotional Intelligence expert Susana Fuster says “There is no nose of Pinocchio” to help us know if our teenage children lie, but a series of “Non-verbal” signals that can lead us to detect changes in their behavior and improve mutual understanding.
Of These keys is the book ‘ Children who are silent, gestures that speak‘ (Espasa), in which Fuster, director of the University Master in NonVerbal Behavior and Detection of the Lie of the Distance University of Madrid (UDIMA) and the Behavior and Law Foundation, part of the premise that there are many bodily signals to which until We hadn’t paid attention now.
Adolescence, notes Fuster, mother of two daughters, one of 16 years and another of 12, is a complicated stage for both young people and their parents who complain about “Lack of communication”, a starting point in their judgement “erroneous” because there are many “non-verbal” signs, such as gestures, postures and even the clothes that they wear that give many clues to help them understand them.
The expert accurate, in an interview with EFE, it’s not a self-help book, but it’s going to help you get to know your child better and look at details of his behavior that until now could go unnoticed, as “manipulative” gestures made by man He was unconscious.
The Book is based on numerous scientific studies And in specific cases, and Fuster is part of the premise that “everything communicates”, since the body constantly sends information through eight channels: «Facial expression, gestures, body posture, use of space, physical contact, appearance, voice and Look ‘.
However, he warns that to know how to correctly interpret a change in his habitual behavior “it is essential that you know the pattern of behavior of your child” because “there is no universal Dictionary of Gestures”.
“There is No nose of Pinocchio”, lying is not so easy to detect; “Starting there is no gesture that can tell you that you are lying”, but teenagers do not control their body expression and there are signs like the look, facial microexpressions, gestures, flicker or voice that can denote deception, explains the Expert.
Also dismounts Myths, like when a teenager does not look at the face of his interlocutor “is lying”, but on the contrary, “When someone lies you will look into your eyes to see if you’re believing. Good liars do, “he says.
There are facial microexpressions that can also help detect these lies, such as “involuntary movementsof the muscles of the face, a frown when he says he is happy, a mouth lightly stretched towards the ears that They reflect fear, or tight lips that denote tension. ”
“The microexpressions do not necessarily imply a deliberate deception, but they do allow to mask emotions” that escape the control of the adolescent, says Fuster.
Deception, he adds, is also reflected in gestures such as the “body stiffness» and not the nervousness as one usually thinks, since it is concentrated in elaborating its lie; The flicker, which almost freezes and increases significantly when you have just counted the deception, or the voice, which tends to sound ‘ more acute than normal ‘.
Fuster also discusses how certain adolescent behaviors can make them more vulnerable to possible harassment or attack, such as ” length of the steps whenwalking, the change of pace as you walk, the balancing of the arms, rebounding of their knees or the position of the shoulders and back», according to scientific studies.
It therefore Advocates that adolescents should be encouraged to ‘ expand their body ‘, to adopt ‘ open and firm ‘ postures, to avoid sticking their arms on their sides and ‘ not to bend their backs ‘.
“The subject Pending”, concludes the expert, “is to learn to know the non-verbal language.”